An old Word document I just came across- I am Interested in:
"I am interested in cross-cultural exchange, especially in the Tijuana-San Diego Border, as well as in the relations between Spain and North America and their past interactions. Do ties still remain? If and if not, can I be a tie of some sort? Goya painted himself into historical scenes, and so what does that imply? What will I be implying/exploring by plugging myself, a young, female, American, into Spanish culture? The awkwardness of painting, and the ability to ask questions and approach other, possibly difficult, subjects.
Self–portraiture and its history in Spanish Painting.
I am interested in identity construction. One’s identity and definition of self are bound up in interactions with physical objects and environments. In studying Goya’s painting and self-portraiture and acting as a link between contemporary culture and the ideas represented in his work.
I am interested in the collision of spaces. Cultural and social borders, globalization...the manifestation of the “third space” in painting. The meeting of realism and abstraction, of the ground of the canvas with the new ground that is being asserted by the artist. The dialogue between the painter/artist and the paint/medium.
I am interested in the human body, its form and function. Our rejection of bodily excretions: vomit, tears, urine, sweat, feces…we do not choose to possess it, to claim it as our own though it is our own creation. As artists we take the world in though ourselves, and spit it back out through medium of brush, camera, hammer and ceramic wheel etc. Should we not accept these other creations that truly and physically traverse the length of our intestinal system?"
Goya was deaf and a bit batty when he created the Desastres and when he painted the Black Paintings. There are times I feel I will go mad from hearing my own voice in my head. I cannot image the thousands that were revolving around in his. Where else could a deaf man live but between lines and images? I would equally have had to get empty those voices from my head. And so: I am interested in making art in a Spanish context, but why? I am interested in Goya's self preservation through self portraiture, but why did he do it? I am interested in my emotionality, my reactions to the work and my ability to observe, but what should anyone give me money to study that?
These are the questions, and then some!, that I will be pursing these coming months. For now, I am exhausted and off to bed.