01 02 03 Eleanor Greer: cannot sleep. 04 05 15 16 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 31 32 33

cannot sleep.

I have been in bed for the past hour and cannot sleep, thinking about this afternoon. For the past three days I have been cleaning Chris' studio in preparation for her arrival this coming Friday. My pride and joy in this process has been her tall, 4 drawer filing cabinet, thing. The beast was quite messy but through numerous scrubs and a polishing job, it looked rather beautiful. This afternoon, I was pridefully scrubbing the bottom drawer while seated on the floor when the entire thing fell over on top of me...weighing in at some weight that I most assuredly cannot bench-press. I can recall saying "Oh my gosh...", a drawer banging open and falling against my left ear and the whole of it pining my left foot to the floor beneath it. I have no idea how, but the top half somehow ended up face-down and the bottom half with both drawers open, flopped behind it...I had crawled out to the side.

Numerous ugly bruises, a possibly fractured foot and pinky and a sore neck/ear is all that I came away with. I did manage to re-scuff the cabinet, put some massive dings in the floor, wet some important papers (I had a bucket of water with me at the time) and make friends with the doorman who helped me to pick up the heavy mother of a thing.

What is this weak body that I inhabit? Shouldn't I be the one made out of stainless steel?? Why are we so intricately put together, so beautifully crafted and yet so very vulnerable? Our minds and hands are capable of crafting even the most innocent of things that are yet oh-so-capable of simply destroying us. How am I to sleep.....?
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